Ben's Testimony

How God’s word and the Holy Spirit Changed Our Lives

Originally Published in The Summer 2023 Journey

By Ben Cox

John 5:15 - “I am the vine and you are the branches. If a man remains in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit; apart from me, you can do nothing.” 

46 years ago the Lord used John 15 and just one phrase from this chapter to radically change the direction of my life. It was July 1977, three months into my new marriage to Connie. We were not truly followers of Christ at the time, but we were spiritual seekers. 

I had grown up in a Christian home as a pastor’s kid. When I was 8 years old, I walked the aisle to receive Jesus as my personal Savior, but I did this in order to please my parents and the people in the church and not because I truly believed. 

In high school in 1972, the Holy Spirit moved in the youth group of our Baptist Church, and I did get truly born again! Jesus was moving by His Spirit in our town and throughout the nation. Young and old alike go saved and experienced the baptism of the Holy Spirit in similar ways to Jesus’ first disciples at Pentecost. It was exhilarating to be a part of!! 

Before I found Jesus, I was on a bad path, so my parents were relieved to see this transformation. While they didn’t quite know what to think about the Holy Spirit’s move, they knew that their lost son had now been found, transformed, and was on fire for God. 

At 17, I started to think more carefully about my future and the career path I would follow. My dad told me to pray about it, and much to my surprise I felt the Lord speak to my heart very clearly that I 

should pursue pastoral ministry. Honestly, I had always felt strongly that I would NEVER be a pastor after watching my dad experience some church ugliness. While church members could be unkind and stuck to their agendas, I am grateful that my dad was faithful in his calling to the church and he endeavored to teach his parishioners how to follow Christ, demonstrating Christ-like character whether they did or not. 

So, in spite of my reservations about being a pastor, I answered the call I received from God. I went to Mars Hill College in 1973 to study Philosophy and Religion with plans to enroll in seminary following college. 

For a number of reasons, my plans and my faith derailed. At 21, I transferred to another school and changed my major to English. I ended up dropping out because I was in a dark, depressed space, considering suicide as an option to escape my self-imposed suffering. 

I was alone and confused in this new town and decided to start from ground zero to find truth and peace in other religions besides Christianity. I met my wife during this time, and we were both spiritually minded and sincere about seeking truth. 

Connie is one of seven children, and her brother and sister had recently begun their own spiritual journey that led them to the real Jesus. Their search for truth led them straight into His waiting arms. Because of this, Connie’s brother Bob strongly resisted my claims that “all paths lead to God.” He insisted that Buddha and Krishna and Mohammed were dead, but that Jesus was alive. He challenged us to read the Bible and to simply pray that God would reveal His truth about Jesus. We followed this lead, and I’m still in awe that Jesus pursued me like He did when I had forsaken Him. 

Before we departed for our honeymoon, my mom gave me a Bible. I was at Cape Blanco State Park in Oregon, sitting in a meadow on a beautiful cliff overlooking the Pacific Ocean when these words from John 5:15 caught my attention: “I am the vine and you are the branches. If a man remains in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing.” 

It felt like the Holy Spirit lifted the last six words of the passage off the page and said to me, “APART FROM ME, YOU CAN DO NOTHING.” Then Jesus said to me by His Spirit, “not who you have tried to make Me to be and not your version of what you want Me to be, but who I really am!” 

At that point, I dropped my Bible and lifted my hands in surrender to Jesus, realizing that due to my own pride, prejudices and sinful nature I had created a version of Jesus that was wrong. I had created a “gentle Jesus, meek and milk” version of God, who would never hold anyone accountable for rejecting Him. But that’s not the complete picture of who Jesus is and doesn’t align with what Jesus says about Himself or what Scripture proclaims Him to be. I’m so grateful that Jesus used His Word and spoke to me by His Spirit to pull me out of deception and darkness and into the light of His truth. 

I’m also grateful that He will faithfully works in our lives on a daily basis if we devote ourselves to reading the Bible and asking the Holy Spirit to reveal truth or teach us truth on a deeper level than we knew. Through the Spirit and Word working together, Jesus will conform all of His followers into His image which is so much better than trying to get Him to conform to what we think He should be.