Life, Love, and Wine to Water
By Kelly Goodman with Amber Hendley
From the Archives: Winter 2013
I was born and raised in Boone, NC, to Vanessa Minton and Gary Waters. I have a sister, Wendy, who is two years older than me. Wendy made my childhood years the best. We still laugh and cry sometimes whenever we reflect on the many memories that we’ve shared together.
My parents made sure that Wendy and I were in church most every Sunday, especially Mom. There were many times that I just wanted to bury my head back under the covers and sleep in, but Mom would flip my light switch on and give firm, yet tender, orders to get movin’! I’m glad that Mom always set a good example.
In my spare time, I would dance. I come from a long line of talented dancers and performers. Dance was instilled in me from the time I was old enough to balance myself on a coffee table. On any given day, if you were to show up at our house, you would likely hear my boom box blaring “Mountain Music” by Alabama, and the clickity-clack sound of my clogging shoes tapping as fast as legs would allow.
There was no doubt in my mind that one day I would end up teaching dance, and that’s exactly what I did. Dancing became my ministry. For me, dancing is medicinal. You can kind of lose yourself in it and drift away. It’s a knee-slapping, endorphin-flowing, 100% natural bliss!
When I wasn’t dreaming of dancing, I would often dream of and envision my “perfect guy.” He had to love music, play the guitar, ride a motorcycle, be athletic, and, of course, love the Lord. Ever since I was little, this is the guy that I imagined would one day sweep me off of my feet.
When I was 16 years old, I was roller skating with my friends and noticed this really cute guy with a great smile. When his piercing blue eyes met mine, a strange feeling came over me. Little did I know at the time that I was staring at the face of the man who would change my world forever.
I never thought that I would run into this guy again, but five years later, I was at a local hot spot with some of my girlfriends when I turned around and locked eyes with what looked to be the same guy, only much more mature and devastatingly handsome. Crazy how a boy can change in five years. My heart was beating wildly and I had a lump in my throat as he approached me. He had this sort of cowboy, rebel look and I was totally digging it! He said, “You’re Amber Waters, aren’t you?” I was shocked that he remembered my name. I hadn’t seen him since I was a sophomore in high school, popping bubble gum and backwards skating to some Dixie Chicks song.
This guy was Doc Hendley, a former bartender who was starting a non-profit organization to provide clean drinking water around the world. After talking with him for a few hours, I felt like I’d known him my entire life. When he shared his love for the Lord, his passion for people, music, and sports, I know that I could not hide my giddy expression. It was literally lighting bolts and fireworks! He informed me that over 1 billion people on the planet lack access to clean drinking water, and he was determined to do something about it. That is why I fell in love with this man.
I was living in Charlotte at the time, and after I left my friends and family in Boone to go back to home, I could barely concentrate because my every thought returned to Doc. I mustered up the nerve to call him. He asked me what I was doing and I said that I was moving back to Boone, even though I had no intention of moving back to Boone until that very moment.
Nothing could stop me. I packed my bags, and within two days I was back in Boone. Doc and I started spending as much time together as possible. I was simply in awe of his compassion and tenderness. To say I was smitten would be an understatement.
After a few months, which seemed like years, he asked me to be his wife. It’s hard to describe the rush of emotion that I felt in that moment. I said yes as tears of joy smeared my makeup.
Ironically, Doc proposed to me at the very place where we first met. Yes, he proposed to me at Skate World in Vilas, NC. My dance girls had won a competition, so we treated them to a night of skating and pizza. The owners of the skating rink called all of my dancers to the center of the rink, under the disco ball, and announced their championship. Then, over the squeaky intercom, they announced that there was one more announcement to be made... It takes a real man to get down on one knee and propose to his lady in front of 20 ecstatic little girls, and that’s exactly what Doc did!
I wouldn’t have wanted it any other way. My dancers and their parents are, and always will be, the center of my universe, next to God, and my family, of course. My dancing kids and their parents keep me going through the good times and the bad.
Doc and I married in July of 2006. I couldn’t be any happier. At the time, Doc was working for my stepfather, Daniel Minton. It was a good job, but I could tell that Doc’s heart wasn’t in it. He longed to be back in Sudan building and repairing wells for families that desperately needed clean drinking water. Being behind a desk wasn’t for Doc, and I knew it.
One night I could tell that something was bothering Doc, and I knew exactly what it was. “Look!” I said firmly. “I understand why you are working with my stepdad selling insurance, and why you still play music. l know that you are just trying to provide for me, because apparently that’s what a husband is supposed to do. But you need to know something... I didn’t marry an insurance salesman. I didn’t marry a bartender or a bar singer. I married a man I met at the local pub, who had the weight of the world on his shoulders, and was trying to fix his problems.”
I assured Doc that I had a good job with enough to pay the bills, and that being a good husband wasn’t about providing money. I told him that it was about being the man that he was supposed to be. I encouraged him to pursue Wine to Water, and told him that I would be behind him every step of the way, even if I had to work a full-time job for the rest of my life. (Wine to water is a humanitarian organization, founded by Doc, that digs wells in third world countries for people who don’t have clean drinking water.)
Things fell perfectly into place with Wine to Water. God provided a building and some sponsors, and it grew like a grape vine. I knew that I was doing the right thing to encourage my husband to follow his dream and help save the lives of many, but I also knew that I was going to miss having him by my side. The nights would become lonely, and his side of the bed, cold.
When I dropped Doc off at Charlotte-Douglas airport for his first trip away from me, I kissed him and told him that I was proud of him. He was going back to Darfur, Sudan where he’d been shot at and witnessed unspeakable violence. He cheated death more than once, but his need to help the people outweighed any of his fears. I tried to be strong for Doc, but I burst into tears as soon as I saw that dingy white plane detach from the terminal and roll away.
It was all bittersweet. I knew that Doc was where the Lord wanted him to be, but that didn’t stop my heart from aching or the tears that saturated my pillow at night. Not only was this my first experience away from Doc, but we’d also miscarried a baby a couple of weeks before he left. I was so depressed. I started living for our emails and occasional phone calls, but there wasn’t much cell phone service in the desert. Through Doc’s emails he would encourage me by saying that he couldn’t work to the best of his ability without my support. With time, things became a little easier to endure, but I still felt a lot like a military wife with Doc being gone a lot of the time, serving others.
Wine to Water has really grown and so has my marriage with Doc. We have two healthy boys now, and I couldn’t ask for a better husband or father. When Doc is home we are usually fishing with the boys, playing baseball in the yard, or simply snuggled together on the couch enjoying football or a good fight on TV.
Every time Doc goes back to a dangerous country, I can’t help but fear for his safety. When that anxiety settles in, I remind myself that there’s no safer place for Doc to be than where the Lord wants him. Whenever I feel sad, I think about how Wine to Water is making a difference.
Doc is my constant reminder that ordinary people can make a difference if they are passionate about what they do. Doc inspires me. I’m passionate about my dance ministry, and even though my ministry is on a smaller scale than Doc’s water ministry, my husband reminds me that I’m making a difference in the lives of the dancers that come to the High Country Dance Studio. The girls and boys that dance with me feel like the studio is their home away from home. It’s a safe haven for them. When kids are engaged in something that they love, they are less likely to find themselves in trouble with drugs and such.
The relationships that have been formed in the studio will last a lifetime. I’ve seen girls that are shy, and have little to no friends at school, come to the studio and flourish. When these kids hit the dance floor, they come alive. It’s an indescribable feeling to watch these kids grow and see their confidence soar.
God knows that this dance ministry is as therapeutic for me as it is for my clientele. When Doc is gone, I lose myself in my dance world, while he is on the other side of the world. God is so good. The Lord continues to grow the High Country Dance Studio and Wine to Water.
Every day is a winding road, and since I met Doc, life has been an interesting journey. CNN recently filmed an hour long documentary about Wine to Water and our lifestyle. They traveled with Doc around the world and they came to our home here in Boone to interview us up close and personal. The documentary is scheduled to air in December.
I love my life with Doc. Even though at times we are separated by many oceans, our souls are knitted together with love. Like fine wine, our marriage just keeps getting better with time. Saying all of this, however, Doc and I are fully aware that no marriage is perfect and no marriage is exempt from corruption. Like perfecting a dance move, marriage takes work. We have to pour into our marriage to keep it alive, or it can run dry like a well.
I thank God for the many blessings he has bestowed upon our family. Without our faith, we never would have come this far. Doc will continue building wells, and I will keep on dancing. Hopefully, by example, our children and their children will learn this... keep moving, stay passionate, give generously, and never, ever underestimate what the good Lord can do with a willing heart.
